


You Owned My Heart Before I Met You

by Multi-Fandom-Trash-Heap (TheAssassinLover)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alive Ben Solo, F/M, Feelings, Fix-it fic, Fluff, Kill it Like I Had to, Let the Skywalker Name Die, Mild Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Now with Reylo Baby, Post-Canon Fix-It, Redeemed Ben Solo, Smut, Tros fix-it, Working things out, happier ending, life conflicts, screw that ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22371679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAssassinLover/pseuds/Multi-Fandom-Trash-Heap
Summary: A Rise of Skywalker Fix-It."It wasn’t fair that the force should bind them so intrinsically only to then tear them apart. A dyad. Two halves. One soul. It should be impossible for one to exist without the other, yet here they are."OrBen and Rey strengthen their bond and figure out their life together on Tatooine after the tumultuous battle on Exogol.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 42
Kudos: 296





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This movie broke me and made me write my first canon pairing fic in years. I have no regrets. We all needed a better end.

_ Ben drags himself from the pit he was tossed down, forcing himself to keep going, keep fighting, for her. _

_ For Rey. _

_ He can see the flashes from above, hear the force lightning Palpatine has unleashed. He senses Rey too, could feel her as she rose, as she called upon the powers of those who came before her. He feels the strength of her force now as she faces down her grandfather. _

_ Then...then it stops. All of it ceases at once, and with it so does Rey’s power. When her lifeforce is snuffed out he feels it in his very soul, in the parts of him he had forgotten existed. It feels like a part of him has been torn from himself, and it is an agony unlike any he has faced. _

_ When he pulls himself over the edge, sees her motionless body, lifeless eyes gazing at nothing his own heart begins to pound harder in his chest. _

_ He tries to run toward her, ignoring his likely broken leg, falling finally as he nears and still managing to crawl toward her. _

_ He gathers her in his arms, eyes wandering over her figure frantically, unwilling to believe what is in front of him. No, she can’t be gone. Not like this. _

_ He hugs her body to his, mind racing as he makes his decision. He knows what he has to do. For once in his life, he truly does know, and he has the strength on his own. _

_ Carefully he lays her across him, taking a deep breath as he places his hand over her abdomen, focusing on his inner force and guiding it, slowly breathing life back into her body. With every exhale he feels weaker, but it’s worth it, it’s for her. _

_ When her hand touches his he snaps his eyes open, relief washing over him as she stares at him in shock and confusion, then as their bond connects once more, he feels her overwhelming joy as she huffs a disbelieving laugh. “Ben?” _

_ His lips curl ever-so-slightly upward because that’s who he is now, isn’t it? The very person he spent so many years trying to shut out. To kill. And then this girl, this strong, beautiful woman came and refused to let him die, to let Kylo Ren fully take over. Showed him more compassion than any other in his life. _

_ Then she’s kissing him, arms drawing him to her. Her lips are soft as he returns it, holding her as if his life depends on it. And maybe it does, because his head is spinning and his grip is growing weaker, but at that moment it’s her, and just her, and he’s happier than he’s ever been. _

_ She pulls back smiling, and he wishes he could see her like this forever. For the first time in what must have been a decade he smiles. A true, genuine expression, free from the weight he has carried for the past decade. Free from the mask he’s hid behind for so long. _

_ Then slowly, the expression falls. He feels it as his vision blurs, sees her look of confusion as he falls back, vision blacking. Then...nothing. _

_ *** _

She stands on the barren sands of Tatooine, staring into the twin suns as they set. The searing world, so much like the one she came from, is significantly more comforting than she would have expected. Perhaps it was her journey.

Perhaps it was who waited for her.

She’s alerted to his approach by the startled droid beside her. Poe would expect him back eventually, and Rey plans to return him, if only to save having to explain her whereabouts herself. However, it’s the droid who caused everything, whose appearance led her down the path she took, and it only seemed fitting that BB-8 be with her now at the end of it.

Rey turns from the setting suns, eyes now cast toward the man who stands behind her. “You came.” His voice is calm, but Rey can sense the hint of surprise in it.

“Of course I did.” Her voice is defensive, but there’s an undeniable curve to her lip that gives away her joy at seeing him. “Did you think I wouldn’t?” BB-8 is still beeping aggressively beside her, more confused now than alarmed as his robotic head swivels back and forth between them. 

Ben eyes the droid wearily, but his attention draws back to her. Always her. “You have friends in the resistance. They’ll want to rebuild; I thought they might sway you.” 

Rey shook her head, feet finally moving forward to close the gap between him. “Whatever friendships I may have formed in the resistance, they are nothing compared to what I share with you.” She reaches a hand up to his face, thumb gently tracing one of his cheekbones. “The force guides us, and it saw fit to bond us. I will not fight that, not anymore.” She is silent as her eyes study his features, hand moving to trace where his scar once was, now healed by her doing. “I couldn’t stand to lose you again.” She whispers.

Ben takes her hand in his then, pressing his lips to her palm. “You won’t.” He promises.

***

_ It’s a strange feeling to look upon your own body. That’s all Ben can think of at first, as he stands before the scene in front of him. Watching as Rey shouts his name, shaking his now lifeless body fruitlessly. Then he feels a pang as he remembers the pain he felt when she died, knowing she is likely experiencing something similar. _

_ It wasn’t fair that the force should bind them so intrinsically only to then tear them apart. A dyad. Two halves. One soul. It should be impossible for one to exist without the other, yet here they are. Here he is, watching Rey shake her head in denial. There she is, still trying to believe he isn’t gone. He wishes he could reach her, tell her everything is okay. _

_ “Ben.” The voice startles him, familiar in a way that things you haven’t heard in so long are. Voices that fade from your memory, but you never truly forget. _

_ He turns, already knowing who he’ll find standing there. Despite this, he still starts when he sees her. She’s older than he remembers, but in the light of her force form, she looks very much alive. “Mom.” He finally manages to force out. _

_ She smiles at him. “You came back.” _

_ Words fail him, so many things coming to mind at once until finally, he manages just two words. “I’m sorry.” _

_ She steps toward him then, coming to stand right in front of him. “I know.” She reaches to touch him, and he can feel her, she’s solid and real, and not a figment of his mind. Leia’s eyes are sad. “You shouldn’t be here.” _

_ “I deserve this. After everything I’ve done. After…” His voice catches, but he presses on. “After dad.” _

_ His mother shakes her head. “Despite all of that, there’s someone who still needs you.” Her gaze is focused behind him, and he turns to find Rey now crying into his chest, hands fisted in his sweater. _

_ Ben looks back at Leia. “How?” He asks. “I’m already gone.” _

_ Leia smiles again, placing a hand against his chest. He feels warmth, then his vision begins to fade as it did before. “This is my final gift to you, Ben. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” _

_ He realizes then, why her lifeforce faded so suddenly. She knew. “Mom I…” Just like the vision of his father, he can’t quite form the words. _

_ She smiles just the same. “I know.” _

***

BB-8 won’t go near him. Rey isn’t surprised given the past, but she still shoots the droid looks when he actively moves to avoid Ben. Ben pretends it doesn’t bother him, but she knows better, can feel his discomfort.

“He’ll get used to it.” She assures him as they sit beside each other one night, hidden away in the old bedroom of the abandoned moisture farm they’ve taken residence in.

“Rey.” Ben says softly. “He won’t come near me, and he’s a droid. How do you think the rest of your friends are going to react?”

She’s silent at that. Rey knows he’s right. Half of the galaxy will want his head, her friends included. “We’ll figure it out.” She finally whispers. “Together.”

He looks at her, bringing his hand to her face and gently turning her toward him. She meets his eyes and can see the uncertainty in them, but also the hope. He wants to believe her, and she wants to be right.

When he kisses her it feels like a promise. That no matter what happens they have each other, and Rey finds that she’s okay with that. Maybe Finn and Poe will understand, maybe they’ll hate her. 

Time will tell, but for now, she loses herself in Ben’s touch, his kiss, the way his hands move down her body.

Her breath catches as he presses her down on the cot, as his lips trail down her neck and her hand tangles in his hair, pulling him ever closer. 

They fumble a bit and it’s an awkward mess of tangled limbs and caught clothing, but the moment he presses inside her Rey feels complete. They move in tandem, wholly in sync with one another, and she can fell the bond between them strengthen. 

She gasps his name and  _ oh _ , suddenly it’s an entirely new sensation as their minds connect and she can feel everything. All of him and all of her, and judging by the sound Ben makes he feels it too. It’s an intensity she never thought to experience and she doesn’t ever want it to end, but inevitably she falls over the edge of ecstasy and he goes with her, each of them crying out as he spends himself inside her.

They lay wrapped in each other’s arms after, holding on like they’re afraid to let go. “Ben I…” She starts, then she pauses, unsure if she should continue.

“I know.” He whispers against her skin.

***

_ His vision blurs in and out of focus as he comes to, slowly blinking as his mind catches up to what’s happening. As soon as it does he gasps, life fully returning to him and Rey freezes where she’s at, face still hidden against his chest. _

_ He reaches hesitantly and touches her shoulder. She looks up then, her eyes red and her face tear-stained. “Rey.” He whispers, and his voice sounds strained, but he doesn’t care. _

_ “Ben.” She returns, her expression still one of disbelief. “You’re alive.” _

_ “I think so.” He forces himself to sit up, wincing a bit as he does, but he notices the brunt of his injuries are gone. His leg isn’t broken, and aside from some cuts and bruises, he seems to be intact. _

_ “I...I thought…” She shakes her head. “It felt like a piece of me had died. It was unbearable.” _

_ “I know.” He whispers. “I felt it too.” _

_ Rey understands, and she wraps herself around him, holding him close to her. “We should leave this place.” She says finally. _

_ “I can’t go with you, Rey. Not to the resistance.” He replies, and she pulls back, sitting across from him. “At best they would imprison me, and at worst…” _

_ Rey’s shaking her head. “We could convince them. If they saw you’ve changed…” _

_ “It doesn’t erase my crimes.” He cuts her off. “I can’t.” _

_ She bites her lip as she looks at him. “I don’t want to leave you.” _

_ “I don’t think we have a choice.” It kills him to admit it, but he knows it’s true. There’s no hope for them even now. Not with what he had done. _

_ She sighs, and he can feel the conflict in her. The need to return to her friends and the longing to stay with him. “I have an idea.” He nods at her to continue. “I’ll go back, stay through the celebration, the negotiation. Then, I plan to go to Tatooine. Where everything began.” Her eyes meet his and he can see her pleading in them. “Go there, Ben. Wait for me.” He sees her lip tremble as she fears he’ll say no. “Please.” _

_ He considers it. There’s really nothing left for him in the galaxy but her. Nowhere else for him to go. He knows his answer already. “Okay.” He tells her, feeling as her uncertainty turns to joy. “I’ll wait.” _

_ “Thank you.” _

***

Finn comes for her several months later. It was only a matter of time she realizes when she sees him coming toward her from the distance. “Rey.”

“Finn. How did you know where I was?” She asks though she suspects she already knows. Her suspicions are confirmed when he nods at the orange and white droid. “I take it you’re here for him.”

“I’m here for both of you.” Finn tells her. “Rey, we need you. The resistance needs you.”

Rey shakes her head. “My fight is done, Finn. You and Poe are more than capable of rebuilding the republic.”

“Rey please, what good does it do you to stay alone on a desert planet. It’s no different from how you began.” He pleads and she bites her lip. BB-8 beeps accusingly and Finn’s head snaps to him and back to Rey. “What does he mean you aren’t alone?” She refuses to meet his gaze. “Rey?

Ben chooses that moment to come outside because of course he does. She knows he probably sensed her fear through the bond. He freezes when he sees Finn, and she knows he’s about to return to hide but it’s too late. Finn sees him and pulls his blaster. “You!”

“Finn, no!” Rey puts herself physically between the two men, glaring at her friend as he aims at her lover.

“Rey, what is going on? Why is  _ he  _ here!?” He’s looking at her differently now, with an expression she never wanted to see. Hurt. Betrayal.

“Finn, it’s a long story.” She tries, hand defensively placed on her saber. The one she built from her staff. “Please, just put the blaster down.”

Finn is still glaring, but he lowers the weapon. “Why is Kylo Ren here?” He asks again, his voice more of a hiss than anything. “I thought you killed him.”

“I never said that.” She avoids the question.

“Rey!”

She swallows. “He isn’t Kylo, Finn. Not anymore.” Ben, who has been keeping his distance comes to stand behind her then, close enough for comfort but far enough to keep away from Finn. Rey steps backward, going until she’s close enough to touch him. 

Finn looks between the two in disbelief. “Rey...you can’t be serious.” 

“I’m sorry, Finn. I can’t go back with you, and I won’t let you have Ben.” Her hand goes back to her saber. “I’ll fight you if I have to, but I don’t want to.”

He stares at her a moment longer before finally turning without a word. BB-8 follows, headpiece turning to stare at her before moving forward again and leaving her standing there, watching the two leave.

When they’re far enough away she hides her face in Ben’s chest, letting her tears fall as he holds her. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly.

“I knew what I chose.” She mutters against him. “I chose you.”

***

_ She leaves first, taking off in the x-wing his uncle once flew. He watches her go, knowing he’ll have to wait out the storm before leaving. His TIE would be a target, and that’s not something he wants to risk. _

_ It’s strange to stand there. To contemplate things now that he had no real purpose. No obligation to the dark, to the First Order. No longer fighting the pull to the light but embracing it. With Palpatine dead, what was left? _

_ Rey. Rey is his purpose now. _

_ He does leave eventually, going to the place she promised to meet him. The place his family’s story began. He’ll wait. Forever if he has to, but he can’t help but selfishly hope she comes sooner rather than later. _

_ Ben waits because she waited for him. Waited for the man she knew existed behind the monster’s mask. Because she’s the only person who ever truly understood him. _

***

Rey is on edge. She keeps waiting for their peace to be broken by her friends, likely ex-friends, coming for him. It keeps her up at night, even with Ben’s arms around her.

“Rey, if they come we’ll face them.” He whispers to her one night. “You need to sleep.”

“I can’t, Ben. I’m haunted by the thought of them taking you.” She pulls him close to her. “I love you.” The words slip before she stops them, but she knows it’s true. It’s always been true.

“Rey.” He sighs, hand rubbing her back soothingly. “I love you too.” Silence fills the room as the weight of their words hangs over them. As Rey realizes what they mean.

“Ben, we have to go back.” She whispers then, despite how it tightens her chest. “They’ll come, or we go make our argument. We stand a better chance if we go on our own.”

She senses his unease through the bond and knows that’s not what he expected her to say, but she also senses his concession. He knows she’s right. “Okay.” He whispers.

“Ben, just...just in case…” He kisses her, swallowing the words he knows she can’t bring herself to say. To even think. 

He takes every worry from her, letting her become lost in him, to forget it all if only briefly. Tomorrow she knows they’ll face their hardest battle yet, but tonight it’s just them. Always them.

“I love you.” She tells him again and the bond sings. “I think I always have.”

“I know. I was yours before I met you.” He whispers. “From the day I felt your awakening.”

He takes her and they’re fully one, and at that moment Rey knows they can survive anything. No matter what it takes, they will win this fight. She loses herself then in the euphoria, in the feel of being connected so intimately.

They hold each other after, and Ben speaks into her neck. “I won’t leave you. I promised.”

Rey feels the bond between them, their dyad. It hums stronger than ever before and she smiles. 

“I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone wanted to know if things worked out for them. Here you go.

Ben watches her sleep, sees the soft rise and fall of her chest, and sighs with relief. He’s been worried about her, knowing how little rest she had been getting. He knows Rey is worried. They both are. Now more than ever.

After their confessions, the last thing he expected was for Rey to suggest they go back, but it was a decision he knows makes sense. He knows they will come for him, and should she lose him in such a way, there would be no coming back from it.

This way though. This way they stand a chance. Can defend themselves. There is no excuse for his past crimes, but perhaps he can do something to make up for it, to prove he has changed, that he’s sorrier than his words will ever truly express.

Rey stirs in his arms and he shifts slightly, letting her drape further over his chest. His hand runs over her bare back and he can’t help but wish they could stay there forever. Could forget that Finn had ever come. Even now, the galaxy seems to work against them. To separate them from each other.

He should sleep. He’s given Rey enough grief for not doing so the past week, and yet he continues to stare at the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. There is a very real chance this will be the last time he holds her. It scares him more than he is willing to admit.

Eventually, he forces himself to close his eyes. To calm his wandering mind and relax, focusing on the woman curled against him. In time his breathing slows and sleep finally claims him.

***

Rey glances over at Ben and takes in his tense posture. The death grip he has on the Falcon’s controls that turns his knuckles white with the strain. He’s nervous. They both are. She thinks of when he first stepped onto this ship. Of the wonderment that crossed his face, the memories that must have flowed through his mind. Memories of a time long gone. A time before everything, before Snoke destroyed his life, before his parents and Luke completely failed him.

Her hand reaches for one of his, closes over it and feels its grip loosen under hers. “It’ll be alright. I’m with you.”

He looks to her and nods, exhaling as the ship enters the atmosphere. As it does she can swear she hears him whisper a familiar phrase. "Be with me." 

Rey echos. “Be with  _ us _ .”

Ben smiles.

They land.

_ It’s chaos. _

The Falcon lands and they are swarmed. Rey has to use the force to keep people back as they shout all manner of things. She doesn’t know what exactly Finn said when he returned, but it is very clear to her that it was nothing good. Someone shouts a very distinct “Traitor!” at her. 

Ironic.

Rey keeps them back as best she can, making sure no one can get to the ship, or rather the person on it. “I want to speak to your generals!” She shouts over the crowd. 

“We’re already here.” It’s Poe’s voice and he pushes to the front, arms crossed over his chest as he stands before her. “Nice of you to come back.”

Finn stands behind him, but he says nothing. He won’t even look at her.

“I want to talk to you.” She glances around and adds. “Alone.”

Poe eyes her with mild suspicion before addressing the crowd. “Alright, that’s enough! You all have work to be doing so do it!”

There’s a murmur over the crowd but slowly they all disperse. Rey catches sight of Rose. She’s one of the last to leave. She’s never looked so angry, and Rey feels a pang in her heart.

“Talk.” Poe tells her. “Or rather,  _ explain. _ ”

Rey stares at the men and takes a deep breath. “Will you come on board?” It’s barely a whisper.

“Depends.” Finn finally speaks. “Is  _ he _ there?”

Rey is silent and it’s all the answer they need. “Please.” She says finally. “You need to know, he isn’t who he was.”

Another few moments of tense silence pass before Poe finally nods and looks to Finn. He hesitates but ultimately relents. “Fine.”

Rey enters first, the others slowly following.

Ben looks up at her approach and his eyes meet hers. “Rey?” He freezes when he sees Finn and Poe, entire body tensing as it did earlier.

Heedless to the generals Rey goes to him, hand touching his shoulder as she stands at his side. “I’m here.” She reminds him and he relaxes.

“So it is true.” Poe says, and Rey suspects it’s mostly to himself. “You betrayed us.”

“I didn’t.” Rey snaps back. “Ben saved my life. Kylo Ren is dead.”

“So you say.”

“I  _ know _ . I died in that cave, Poe.” Rey tells him, forcing herself to say the words. Behind him she she sees Finn flinch. “Finn knows.” It’s both a statement and a question as she looks at him.

Poe turns to his partner, eyes questioning. “I do.” Finn whispers. “I felt it, in the force.”

“You’re force-sensitive?!” Poe asks, accusation rising in his tone. “Why am I just now hearing this?”

“It didn’t seem that important!” Finn argued. “It isn’t like I’m strong with it. I just feel things.”

“That still might have been useful to know!”

“Can we focus?” Rey calls out and the two stop their bickering, looking back to her.

Poe sighs. “Okay, so you died. What happened after?”

“I transferred my life force to her.” Everyone’s eyes snap to Ben as he speaks, words sounding solemn. “Then I died.” He doesn’t mention the kiss. The intense connection they felt as their life forces mixed and their bond sang.

Finn and Poe stare at him, then look to Rey who nods. “He died, and I lost a part of myself.” Rey inhales deeply. “We’re a dyad.” She tells them. “Two that are one. The force bound us to one another. I know he is Ben Solo, because I can feel it in my own body.”

They stare at her, then Finn speaks. “That’s how you knew, isn’t it?” His eyes are softer now, but just barely. “You always knew when he was near, when he was coming.”

“Yes.” She whispers. “Our minds would connect, and it allowed for some interactions with the other’s surroundings.”

Poe pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Okay, so he saved your life. What do you want us to do, Rey? He’s wanted across systems, and until recently we had blissfully believed he was dead.”

“You could pardon him.” She tries.

“ _ No. _ ” Finn shuts the idea down. “He’s done too much, Rey. Even you must know that.”

“He was manipulated, Finn.” Rey’s grip on Ben’s shoulder tightened. “Snoke was in his head.”

“Some of it was me.” He admitted. “Ha-” He chokes on his words. “My father, it was me. I thought it would silence the call. Put an end to the constant conflict I felt.” Ben looks toward the other two men. “I know I did terrible things, and I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but I’m asking you. Let me find a way to make up for it, to reconcile.” There’s an intensity to his gaze, one Rey had only seen once before, when he first asked her to take his hand. “Please.”

Poe looks torn, clearly dealing with an internal conflict. Finn is studying Ben. “You said you died.” He points out.

“I did.”

“Then how are you here now?” Finn’s tone demands and answer, and even Rey looks to him curiously. The hadn’t really spoken of Exogol since it happened. Neither wanted to remember.

Ben looks down and Rey swears she sees him bite his lip. “My mother.” He tells them. “I don’t know how, but she knew. When she faded, it was with a purpose. To save me, to call me back. In more ways than one.” His gaze drifts back up. “I saw her, in the short time I was gone. She came to me and gave me what was left of her own lifeforce. What she had purposefully separated from her body.”

“Leia wanted him to live.” Rey stares them down. “You know that it’s true.”

Finn and Poe look at each other, and then back to them. “I won’t pardon you.” Poe tells him.

Rey glares, and she feels her hand twitch toward her saber hilt.

“But you can earn your forgiveness.” Finn speaks. His voice is still harsh, and the way he looks at her makes Rey think it's more for her than anything. “Help us rebuild. Give us the knowledge you have so that we can hunt down the rest of the First Order stragglers. To stop them from repeating history once more.”

Rey stares at them wide-eyed now, trying to keep her joy contained for fear she had misheard. “You’re serious?”

Poe nods his agreement, and a grin breaks across Rey’s face. “We’ll do our best for damage control, but we can’t control the entire resistance. You’ll have your share of enemies.” He warns

“That’s something I’m rather familiar with.” Ben notes, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.

He stands then, and makes his way to Finn and Poe with an outstretched hand. “Truce?”

Poe stares at the hand hesitantly before taking it. “I still haven’t forgotten the time I spent as your ‘guest’” He says with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah well, I still haven’t forgotten you stealing my soldier.” Ben’s gaze moves to Finn. “Though it seems I was the one who chose the wrong side.”

Finn sighs and then reaches for his hand. “You came to your senses.” He says quietly, reluctantly. “That’s what matters.”

Ben steps back with a small smile, and that’s when Rey finally moves, arms wrapping around his neck as she kisses him. When she pulls back Finn and Poe are just staring, mouths slightly open.

“That’s...gonna take some getting used to.” Poe mutters with a head shake.

Finn’s just muttering under his breath. “He’s not Kylo Ren, not Kylo Ren, not Kylo Ren…”

It’s an amusing and terrifying moment, and yet Rey finds it perfect. Perfect because Ben’s here, and safe, and with her. 

Finn and Poe leave them, and Rey and Ben decide that Falcon is the best place for them to stay. It’s easy to keep unwanted guests out, and if anyone tries to board it will be noticed. 

Rey smiles at him, threads her fingers through his, and pulls him toward the sleeping area. It’s slow and heated and  _ wonderful _ . Ben’s breath is hot against her neck and their hands are still intertwined and Rey loses track of whose pleasure is whose but none of that matters. Just them, just  _ him _ . 

She lays draped across his chest, breathing slowly returning to normal and he plays with the chunks of hair that have strayed from her buns. “We’ll be alright now.” Her voice is muffled against his skin, but he hears it all the same.

“Yeah.” He whispers looking down at her fondly. “I think we will.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just for my own satisfaction. I think you'll all like it though.

She’s pregnant.

Ben feels the shift in the force, in their bond, and knows. Rey doesn’t seem to have noticed yet, or if she has she made no mention of it.

He holds her and tries not to dwell on it. Not to think too hard, but he is  _ terrified _ .

It’s been months since they came to the resistance, slightly over a year since Palpatine was defeated. In that time he’s built up a shaky trust with most of the resistance members. At the very least he feels like he can walk through base alone now without risking a blaster to the back. Still, there’s much unrest with his presence, and many still eye Rey suspiciously.

If they discovered she’s carrying his child…

He shakes the thought away. Surely none would stoop so low, not here. 

Then there was the matter of having a child at all. It isn't exactly something they have discussed, yet they truly had taken no measures to prevent it either. He is honestly surprised it hadn't happened sooner. 

His grip around her tightens slightly, and she shifts before settling once more. Their child will be strong in the force, stronger, likely, than either of them. That thought scares him even more. His own parents had feared his power, and he worries about stumbling down that same path. Of trying to prevent something that hasn't happened, that without intervention never will. 

If Luke had never come to fear him, perhaps Kylo Ren would have never existed. Perhaps things would have turned out differently. 

He refuses to repeat their past mistakes.

Rey stirs, sleep-filled eyes blinking as she squints up at him. "Hey." She whispers. 

Been smiles softly at her despite his inner conflict. "Hi."

“Hmmm.” She reaches for his face, fingertips just brushing his cheekbone. “You look worried.” She sits up a bit to look at his face. “Did something happen?”

Ben stares at her, words lost in his throat.  _ Yes. We were stupid and now we have to face those consequences and I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been save perhaps when you died… _

“No.” He forces. “Not exactly.”

Her brow furrows in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“It means…” Ben sighs heavily, taking her hand in his. “Rey, go to the medical tent.”

“What...why?” She seems even more lost now, tensing at his cryptic words. “Ben, what are you going on a-”

“I think you’re pregnant.” He barely whispers the words but it stops Rey in her tracks, mouth still hanging open from the sentence she failed to finish.

“W-what?” She askes tentatively, as though she’s afraid to hear it again.

Ben takes a deep breath and speaks again, voice louder and clear. “I think you’re pregnant.” He meets her eyes. “I can feel it, through the bond. Your signature has changed like something is interfering...or someone.”

Rey swallows, and Ben can see the uncertainty in her eyes. The terror. “Did you...do you…” She bites her lip. “What do I do?”

Her unspoken question screams at him from her eyes. The silent wondering of if he’ll walk away from this. “Go to the medics, Rey.” He repeats. “Confirm that I’m correct. We’ll talk about what to do after.”

She almost looks broken, and it makes Ben’s breath catch in his throat. Neither of them had planned for this. They had never even spoken about the possibility. Silently she rises from their bed, roaming the room like a robot as she gets dressed, mind clearly elsewhere. “Rey-” He calls out and she stops, gaze moving to question him. He suddenly has no idea what he had planned to say. He just wants her to stop looking like that. “Everything will be okay.” He finally whispers.

Rey stares a second longer and then nods before exiting the room, soft steps echoing in the ship until she finally leaves it.

Ben runs a hand down his face, his other clenching into a fist. He was an idiot for letting this happen, for not thinking... 

He sighs resolutely. It's too late now. Whatever happens, they are going to face it.

Together.

***

Rey’s heart is pounding, so loud in her ears she feels like the woman attending her can hear it too. They’re waiting. Waiting too long even though it’s only been a minute. Waiting for a result that’s going to change her life, and Ben’s, forever.

_ How could we let this happen? _

Regardless of her parents' reasons, Rey was abandoned. Despite the best intentions, Ben was betrayed and neglected. They have no idea how to be parents. No right to bring a child into their messed-up world. 

Yet here she is, waiting to hear if that is exactly what they have done. 

The machine beeps, Rey’s breathing stops, and the woman looks at the paper. She glances at Rey, back to the paper, then to Rey again. “You are, in fact, pregnant.”

Her heart stops.

“You’re certain?” She chokes out and the woman just raises an eyebrow. Stupid. It was a stupid question, of course she’s sure.

Rey inhales shakily before standing and thanking the woman. She wanders back to the Falcon numbly, not ready to face this. Never ready, not for this.

Ben is waiting when she gets there, sitting in the same spot he had been the day they came to the Resistance when Finn and Poe came to make their decision. She doesn’t even need to open her mouth. “I was right.”

Rey nods, jaw trembling with her efforts to not break down. To show how terrified she is of this. How terrified she is that he might leave.

Ben’s eyes widen and she realizes their connection is very much open right now, that she is likely projecting enough for him to hear her thoughts. “You...you think I would leave?” His voice is low and hurt and  _ oh _ , now all she feels is guilt and shame.

“I-I didn’t know- thought maybe...” She shakes her head, eyes glazing with unshed tears. “I’m sorry I...I’m just so scared, Ben. I don’t know what to do.”

He sighs and she sees his expression soften. “Neither do I.” He motions her to him. “Come here.” She does, curling into him as he cradles her on his lap, setting his chin atop her head. She takes comfort in the warmth that envelopes her. “Listen to me. We are going to face this, and we are going to figure it out one day at a time.” He draws back to look at her and Rey can see the determination in them. The adoration. “Together.”

She doesn’t say anything, just draws him down to her and kisses him firmly. “I love you.” She tells him, lips still nearly touching.

He smirks, pulling her tighter against him. “I know.” He whispers, then kisses her again.

***

Telling her friends is...interesting.

Ben stands behind her as she speaks to Finn and Poe, feeling awkward about being there at all despite the fact that both men had warmed up to him. It took Finn a fair time longer than Poe, but in the end, they had reached an understanding.

Ben thinks he is about to watch that understanding fall apart.

“You’re what!?” Finn’s exclamation nearly startles him, and it draws the attention of some of the people walking around them. His eyes snap over to him and Ben looks away uncomfortably.

Rey hushes him, glancing around them. “We haven’t told anyone yet. I wanted you to know first.”

Poe nods, expression thoughtful. “So, uh…” He looks between the two. “We should maybe keep this on the down-low, at least for a little while. Some people are still a bit jumpy about Ben. I’m not sure what would happen if they knew he was having a kid.”

“We had suspected as much.” Ben nods.

“We can’t hide it forever though.” Rey points out. “Eventually they  _ will _ know.”

_ Whether we tell them or not. _ Ben thinks, looking at her slender form. It likely wouldn’t take long for her to show.

“We’ll worry about that when we get there.” Poes tells them. “In the meantime, take care of yourself, okay?”

Rey smiles and nods, and Ben feels his heart lighten at her expression. She’s becoming more relaxed. More accepting of the situation. They both are.

Finn is still shifting, eyes flitting back and forth and Ben honestly wonders if he’s going to be ill. Finally, he speaks, but it isn’t what Ben thought it would be. “If you need anything, let me know.”

Ben blinks at him, surprise evident on his face but Rey, of course, answers. “We will. Thank you, Finn.”

She takes his hand and leads him away, still slightly dumbstruck from the kindness Finn just showed.

***

Rey is laying in bed with him as he gently rubs his hand over her now swollen stomach. It’s only been four months, but she has grown far more quickly than anyone expected her to. 

Ben has been oddly quiet the past few days, and Rey is starting to worry that something is wrong. She had tried to talk to him, but he brushed her off, saying it’s nothing.

Rey knows it’s something.

“Ben…” She whispers into the dark and he hums against her hair. “Are you...are you having second thoughts?” Her voice squeaks out the question, and Rey feels him tense up behind her, his hand halting.

He doesn’t speak and Rey feels her heart plummet. This is it, he’s going to leave her and she’ll let him because she could never force him to do something he doesn’t want to and…

“No, Rey. Of course not.”

Her racing mind stills and she lets out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, relief washing over her. “What has you so distracted lately then?”

“I’ve just...been thinking.” He says softly, his hand goes back to rubbing her stomach and Rey sighs contently.

“About what?” She wants to know, needs to but she feels him shake his head. 

“What do you want to name them?” He asks her.

She quirks a brow though he can’t see it. “I thought you said it was a girl.” Ben seems to have an open connection with their child, able to feel and know things in a way Rey isn’t quite able to achieve. Perhaps it's because for the time being, they are a part of her.

“I did.” He tells her. His hand moves from her stomach to her hand, and he threads his fingers over the top before drawing it so it rests between his hand and her abdomen. She gasps as their force bond opens and he shows her what he feels. “There she is.” 

Rey can feel the little life force, bright and cheerful and definitely female. Tears well in her eyes at it. Then, suddenly he shifts her hand to the side and it changes. Still bright, still happy, but slightly more withdrawn. Different and...and…

Ben’s lips press into the back of her neck as she realizes. “There he is.” He whispers against her skin.

Rey rolls toward him, mindful of the children inside of her as she meets his eyes. “Twins?” She asks, already knowing.

He nods. “That’s why I’ve been distracted. I was trying to find a way to tell you. That and…” She knows. Twins. One boy, one girl. It was ironic in the most heart-wrenching way. “I guess the Skywalker twins aren’t truly gone after all.”

Rey thinks on this a moment and then shakes her head. “No, they are.” Ben looks at her questioningly. “No more Skywalkers, No more Palpatines, let those names die out here and now.” Ben is still silent though his eyes are wider than before. “These children are Solos, just like their father.”

Ben’s eyes are so full of emotion that Rey thinks he might cry. Instead, he tilts her head up to kiss her, holding her tightly but not too tight, mindful of their growing family. Rey grins as he pulls back and then…

“Marry me.”

Her mind halts, slowly turning over the words that just left him. “What?” She whispers, needing to be sure she heard right.

“Marry me, Rey. Take my name.” He strokes a thumb over her cheek. “I love you. Will you marry me?”

Tears do well in Rey’s eyes as she lets his words sink in. “Yes.” She whispers.

He kisses her, hard and passionate and full of emotions neither can properly express. He pulls back and buries his face in her shoulder. “You’ve given me more than I ever deserve.” He whispers against her.

She strokes his hair. “You do deserve it, Ben.” She tells him, heart full and content and feeling happier than she ever thought was possible. “Every bit.”


End file.
